WHEN Grant Thomas invented the expression "going forward", I always thought it was a metaphor for going backwards.

Well, I knew it didn't mean in the future, because if you wanted to say, "in the future", you would just say, "in the future".

Unfortunately, Grant's legacy means corporate gibberish is ensconced in football culture, so I have become an expert in deciphering what coaches really mean. Take Matthew Knights and his "limited opportunity" remark about Jason Johnson and Damien Peverill. What this actually means is: look at me, I'm doing something and I have a plan, even though I'm making it up as I go along.

Under the Knights philosophy (which was made up a few weeks ago), your reward for being loyal to your club for 10 years, for being a best-and-fairest player and for being part of a premiership team is to suffer the indignity of spending your last season running around in the twos, wondering: "What the hell does 'limited opportunity' mean?"

One thing it doesn't mean is if you perform well, you will be selected in the seniors, which poses the question: what is workplace discrimination?

Surely all that Johnson has to do to prove discrimination on the grounds of age is say to the judge two words: Ricky Dyson.

You know, the same thing is happening to me at home. During the summer, I busted my chops to make my wife happy. I renovated the kitchen, knocked up a mezzanine level and landscaped the garden. But now my wife has asked me to sleep in the shed.

I said: "Baby, we've had some good years, I deserve better."

But she looked at me with eyes as dark as the shark and said: "You are no longer in my plans."

I pleaded: "Why didn't you tell me this before I did all the work?"

Her black eyes fixed upon me. "You will be given limited opportunity," she said.

I responded: "Can I get some limited opportunity tonight?"

And she said: "Your limited opportunity will be limited going forward."

That night, I peered through the window and I saw her sitting, laughing with Mal Michael, Dustin Fletcher, Matthew Lloyd and Scott Lucas.

I tapped on the glass and said: "Are these men part of your future going backward?" But she pulled the curtain down.

I returned to the cold shed, hoping my knee would bust so I could put my feet up for the season to watch the team go backwards going forwards.

Speaking of which, have a look at the Swans ($1.06) this weekend against the Bombers ($7.50) and take them on the line ($1.90) to win by more than 39.5 points.

Adelaide and Melbourne are at the same odds and the Crows have the same line (39.5 points at $1.90).

The Saints are tempting at $2.25 against the Pies ($1.60) and expect Port to put up a fight against Hawthorn and take it with a 17.5-point start at $1.90.

And remember, to go forwards, sometimes you have to go backwards but then you have to stop and go forwards again, otherwise you're just going backwards.