COLLINGWOOD president Eddie McGuire was clearly ropeable, but not about to let loose on the record. Magpie coach Mick Malthouse was just as miffed, but saw little value in lashing out and incurring the inevitable fine.

There's not much to be gained these days from clubs bagging the umpires. But after an effort from the three umpires in charge at the MCG yesterday that went pretty close to ruining what — in the miserable conditions — had been a classic contest, something had to be said. So let's give it a crack.

Yes, umpiring is a thankless task. No, nobody wants to see potential umpires scared off by a tidal wave of abuse and criticism. But neither do we want to see a great game still involving plenty of physical contact and, once upon a time, one which at least allowed a little room for manoeuvre depending upon the circumstances, reduced to farce. Which happened far too often yesterday.

Unlike the game going on down the road at Telstra Dome, conditions at the MCG were shocking, the steady rain never once relenting.

It meant far more slipping and sliding, far more tight, contested football, and more necessity for some good old-fashioned grit and physical commitment. It called for a different approach from not just players, but umpires, too.

The Collingwood and St Kilda players did their bit, what could have been a yawn still a gripping game with plenty of skill and enough scoring. But umpires Ray Chamberlain, Scott McLaren and Chris Donlon didn't.

There was not the slightest bit of leeway nor feel for the changed circumstances, the increased difficulty of ball-handling, the greater instances of body contact, even the tiniest margin for error or frustration in the tough going. This wasn't just about the hands-in-the-back interpretation, though that produced its inevitable share of clangers and inconsistencies.

Like a third-quarter shove from St Kilda spearhead Fraser Gehrig on Shane Wakelin that was let go, the "G-Train" bouncing one through the big sticks as a result. A totally legitimate grab from Collingwood's Nick Maxwell late in the same term that somehow was interpreted as a shove on Saint Sam Gilbert. Even what transpired to be the winning goal from the Magpies' Dale Thomas, a free kick awarded against St Kilda defender Matt Maguire's innocuous spoil.

But the two defining moments not only of this shocking day for both umpires and the lawmakers, but perhaps the entire recent debate about the rules and their interpretation, weren't about hands-in-the-back but the much broader issue of physical contact per se.

In the first, St Kilda's Jason Blake and Collingwood's Tyson Goldsack charged from opposite directions at a marking contest. Both showed equal amounts of courage and collided heavily, contact inevitable. It was the sort of act that should have drawn loud applause and admiration from everyone. Instead, it cost Goldsack a free for high contact.

Contact that could have been avoided only had he pulled out of the contest altogether and allowed the St Kilda player unimpeded access, the sort of withdrawal that blots not only a player's performance on one day, but entire careers. If that is what the game is coming to, perhaps we really should be thinking about giving it another name.

To add insult to injury, Collingwood was slapped with a 50-metre penalty to boot after Alan Didak played on and shot at goal. One of seven 50-metre penalties awarded for the afternoon as the umpires chose the wrong moment to crack the disciplinary whip, several of them pedantic in the extreme, most notably one paid against Josh Fraser, and later, one on St Kilda's Justin Koschitzke.

Shortly after the Goldsack-Blake clash, Gehrig and Wakelin jostled for position in a marking contest at the other end of the ground. Each had the same sort of purchase on their man as the other. Somehow, Gehrig won the lucky dip for a "holding" free kick, again kicking a valuable goal. Soft. Rubbish. And totally out of touch with the spirited physical contest we had been witnessing.

Thomas' sensational disallowed goal, a genuine contender for goal of the year and which would have sealed Collingwood's win, but was instead called back for a boundary throw-in, was more debatable. But even repeated replays of the incident couldn't prove that the Magpie had taken the ball over the line.

How certain could the boundary umpire have been, on the move, behind Thomas, and obviously, without access to a TV screen?

By this stage, the three-quarter-time free kick count having been 23-12 St Kilda's way, a mass storming of the umpires' rooms by the Collingwood army looked a distinct possibility.

Less so once the Magpies had got over the line, having enjoyed a better run with the men in yellow in the final term, the last quarter tally 10-5 the Pies' way.

But ultimately, this wasn't just about one team or the other being monstered by the umpires and their stringently enforced and inflexible interpretations. It was about a whole game that should have been remembered as a terrific contest being overshadowed by the three blokes who should be helping run the show, not stealing it.

McGuire and Malthouse couldn't really say that. Fortunately, we can. And not be fined for it. Not yet, anyway.