JEFF Kennett lit the fuse and then, figuratively, walked away, with his hands in the air, as if to say: "Explosion? What explosion?" But it was implausible that a man who has spent a lifetime in politics, relishing every cut and thrust and often lunging gratuitously, did not anticipate it, even thrill to it. Kennett was never a Desiderata sort of guy.

The occasion was a fund-raiser; it became a hell-raiser. Kennett was on a panel with AFL chief executive Andrew Demetriou, Collingwood president Eddie McGuire and Western Bulldogs president David Smorgon, who is also on the board of the Sony Foundation and was responsible for convening the foursome. Journalist Craig Hutchison was the moderator.

The stage was alive with criss-crossing currents. McGuire founded Channel Nine's The Footy Show, made it a success and still oversees it. Hutchison works now for The Footy Show. Kennett has often made plain his displeasure with the influence he perceives McGuire exerts on behalf of Collingwood through The Footy Show, and refuses to appear on it. Smorgon is grateful to McGuire and The Footy Show for the otherwise unattainable largesse it has brought his club; he said so again this night. But Susan Alberti, a Bulldogs director and benefactor, is suing The Footy Show in the aftermath of recent infamous happenings on the program, acknowledged by Smorgon as "very, very poor".

He said Alberti's action was her business, but that the club stood by her integrity. Demetriou stood apart from all this; he was the natural fall guy.

The discussion this night was robust and funny, but decent and about football, as The Footy Show itself was until it became the personal fiefdom of a certain decrepit and caulked-up old man. Then Hutchison asked what the panellists thought of the idea of Jim Stynes succeeding to the presidency of Melbourne.

Kennett said Stynes ought to move Melbourne to the Gold Coast. He said it was improbable that Melbourne would support 10 clubs 10 years hence, even five years, and that as the AFL manoeuvred to create two new clubs, it would be impossible for clubs now in the bottom four to rebuild in the immediate future. He said Melbourne lacked the wherewithal to survive in the interim.

Melbourne's management had to be hard-headed about it. "A football club is like a business," he said. "You have to make sure you don't overly embrace the emotions of a football club." Melbourne was dealing in "fool's gold".

This was the spluttering fuse, and all knew it. McGuire said Geelong was an example to all of how a club might fashion itself into a power without draft or salary-cap assistance. He said it was not so long ago that North Melbourne was on death's door, and the Bulldogs and, for that matter, Carlton, and all were flourishing.

Smorgon rejoined that even Collingwood was on the verge of bankruptcy less than a decade ago. He said it was within the AFL's means to underwrite the smaller clubs that were, nonetheless, part of the game's fabric, and added that it was amazing what a club with initiative could achieve once it felt secure.

Demetriou reiterated that the AFL was committed to all 16 clubs. But, intriguingly, he wondered how long some clubs would abide others who, despite AFL help, failed to improve their circumstances. "At what point will they stop tolerating mediocrity?" he asked.

As the lights dimmed, the conflagration became apparent. Hutchison told Kennett he would report his outburst on The Footy Show, due to air an hour later. Kennett retorted that he thought the proceedings were off the record. This was odd, perhaps disingenuous. The dinner was a public event, with television cameras present and two newspaper reporters, too.

Doubtless, his opinion is honestly held. But by giving voice to it as Hawthorn president, he also makes it a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, just as anything he said as premier about a corporation would have affected its share price. The fact that Melbourne put out a statement yesterday indicated that it had been damaged; explosions do that. Besides, no club likes another minding its business.

In any case, it is problematic whether a football club can or should make its decision with the clinical detachment Kennett recommends. Football's business is passion; it is both the raw material and the product.

Relocating a club is not like relocating Shell, or a bank, an upheaval in its time, but soon forgotten. Moving Fitzroy to Brisbane might have been financially prudent but more than a decade later, and three intervening premierships notwithstanding, scars remain.

The dinner was a reminder of the feelings the game arouses. In itself, it was a success, raising more than $180,000 for charity, meanwhile keeping 260 thoroughly entertained. But when organisers tried to gather the panellists for a photograph as planned, Kennett was nowhere to be found. Someone said he had left in a huff; we will do him the honour of imagining that it was merely a hurry.