NINE days ago at the MCG the Melbourne Football Club scored a rare win for season 2008. Or so the Demons thought.

More than 400 people — mostly professional types and mostly women — gathered in the members' dining room for a breakfast entitled "The Women's Survival Guide To Football". The purpose of the occasion was to offer, in a light-hearted fashion, advice to the uninitiated about how to deal with the curse of football fever in Melbourne each winter — and autumn and spring and, let's face it, summer.

Melbourne's new football double act Dean Bailey and Chris Connolly addressed the room, club vice-president Bev O'Connor hosted and Garry Lyon along with this columnist also spoke and took part in a panel taking questions.

A highlight for some was a filmed skit put together by a group of female Demon staffers entitled "If Women Ran A Coach's Box", a Kath & Kim style send-up which saw one woman assistant coach insist on dragging Aaron Davey only to flirt with him over the telephone. The entire all-female box departed at three-quarter-time in order to get to Chadstone before closing.

Some people found it very funny but many found it insulting. The problem was that more women than the organisers had expected — the breakfast was a joint venture put on with the Australian Institute of Management — were knowledgeable and passionate football fans. One wrote to club chief executive Paul McNamee saying how disappointed she was to witness "something that depicted women as superficial, ignorant, flighty, flirty, dumb and as foolish spendthrifts".

Personally, I found the film funny in the context of what was clearly a lampoon. But as simple as the fact of women loving football should be for the AFL, the issue is more complex than it should be.

And as much as the AFL tries to present itself as a leader in embracing women's natural rights, it continues to struggle with what should be an excellent relationship.

Chairman Mike Fitzpatrick has made genuine progress at the top. Tomorrow two women — Sam Mostyn and Linda Dessau — will take part in the debate at the commission table over what should prove the final draft of what began 2½ years ago as "The Respect and Responsibility Policy".

The policy was initially aimed at creating a safe and inclusive environment for women at all levels of Australian football. But it has travelled now through a number of incarnations and challenges since the AFL prematurely announced this back in November 2005. A hastily if well-intended attempt to combat sexual assault, harassment and discrimination, it was challenged by the players' union, civil libertarians, widespread legal opinion and ultimately the commission itself.

Now it has been widened to cover player conduct unbecoming of all kinds, along with officials, and will lead to a redrafting of standard playing contracts. The players remain unhappy with several aspects of the potential change, particularly the game's push to see every player misdemeanour referred to the AFL. It is heartening to know that Mostyn and Dessau will take part in tomorrow's potentially robust discussion.

The AFL in its 150th year has, with little consultation, chosen to abandon the women's round and, as a consequence, the now customary week of women's-related football events. When questioned on ABC television earlier this month about the decision, chief executive Andrew Demetriou promised several other major events targeting women as well as celebrating them and their role in the game. Whatever they are they must be a well-kept secret because we have seen nothing on the AFL calendar to suggest them.

Still, it wouldn't be the first time the competition scrambled to cobble together a token women's project as those of us who were contacted several weeks before the deadline to contribute to the women's chapter of the recently published Australian rules history book celebrating its 150th birthday, will attest.

Worse, the small but determinedly passionate Victorian Women's Football League has been barred from holding its showcase game at the MCG on the eve of Mothers' Day this year. Surely the game could have taken place on the afternoon or even as a curtain raiser to the Hall of Fame game between Victoria and the All-Stars. The AFL has blamed the Melbourne Cricket Club and the best women footballers in Victoria have been forced to take their big game instead to Cramer Street, Preston.

Still, it is only 10 years since a small group of presidents urged against the appointment of a woman commissioner. And clubs that have struggled for membership and support in the past like the Kangaroos have wised up to the benefits of embracing their community and by extension their significant female support base, realising new members will not all stick around once the club's push for survival ceases to be a novelty.

And the Melbourne Football Club? It will host another women's breakfast next season but maybe give some new thought to its next video presentation. As some of us have learned, sometimes the best way to strike a blow for the cause is to avoid sensational knee-jerk statements and just keep plugging away.