IF I HAD to sum up the time I spent at St Kilda, probably the words that fit best would be "underachieving" and "wasted years".

Don't get me wrong, there were some good times in my six seasons with the Saints, a preliminary final win against the Kangaroos, a grand final in 1997, and then in my last game for the club, a come-from-behind win against Hawthorn. I kicked the winning goal after the siren. Then there were the other times, the bad times … and there were plenty.

That's why, when I look back on my time at St Kilda, I feel it was wasted. Certainly that's not the club's fault. I take full blame. Even some of the good years I had — the last three years, I played pretty well — there were silly reports and inconsistent games. Pretty much my whole time there was up and down, and it's not surprising there were times the club wanted to get rid of me.

There were a couple of occasions that I was skating on thin ice, one being after the 1998 season. A story came out that the Saints were getting rid of me, and I don't know if it was a draft tactic or whether it was reality, but it saved my career. I reckon it was fair dinkum because I was really underperforming.

I'd played three years at that stage and I found out that you can have as much potential as you like, but you have to do something with it. I wasn't doing what I needed to do, and wasn't going forward as a footballer.

Tim Watson took over as coach after that and he pulled me into line, but at that stage, I'd already made my mind up to pull my finger out. I'd give it a shot for a year and try to pull my head in and see how things went. I thought it couldn't hurt, otherwise I'd always wonder what might have been.

I had to do something or my career would have been over. When I decided to leave St Kilda, I sat down with the club and told them I thought it would be better for both parties if I moved on, and they actually told me that Malcolm Blight (coach in 2001 after Watson) also wanted to get rid of me. Great.

I never actually expected to be at St Kilda. Pretty much all the clubs came to our house and spoke to Mum and Dad and said they were interested, but I guess they all say that. Even Sydney came and showed interest. Of all of them, Adelaide and Geelong were fairly keen, but it was St Kilda who picked me with their second pick in the draft.

I was just happy to be picked, but I was surprised. I was drafted as a centre half-forward, and they had Stewie Loewe there, and he had quite a few years left, so I was thinking: "Why do they want me?" But things worked out and I went back to the goal square and enjoyed it.

By 2001, I knew it was time leave. I thought I could do better, how much better I didn't know, but it was like I needed a clean slate. I had baggage and I'd never get rid of it with the Saints. I thought I was becoming a bit of leader around the place but I wasn't being viewed as such and that really disappointed me. Again, that's my fault, but that's why I had to start fresh elsewhere.

Sydney was never a place I would have thought about going when I was younger. I remember as a kid, we used to have a roast every Sunday, we'd watch the Swans on television, and there would be no crowds there and they always got beat. I wasn't even sure they would still be around for that long.

The Swans were good to me. They put in a heap of work in behind the scenes: guys such as Colin Seery and Phil Mullen worked pretty hard to get the deal done.

I met Tony Lockett, and spoke to him a few times, but all the stories about him being the catalyst for my move have been blown out of proportion. I spoke to him once on a professional level, but the other times were social. I just liked the bloke and we'd have a beer together and I'd pick his brain.

I didn't leave the Saints on goods terms, but it wasn't bad, either, and they got some fair players out of the trade. The first time the Swans played them in Sydney, I parked my car, and the St Kilda cheer squad bus pulled up right in front of me. But they were really good, saying they understood why I had left and some promising to follow my career. Judging by the boos when I play St Kilda not everyone thinks that way.

Still, it was the best move I ever made.

Barry Hall's column appears every Friday.