IMAGINE there's no Geelong. It's easy if you try. No Hawthorn below them, and the grand final is played between the Western Bulldogs and St Kilda.

Even now, with four teams playing off in preliminary finals, the notion of a Doggies-Saints grand final seems surreal and more fanciful than any utopia John Lennon imagined. It's never happened, and the punters remain sceptical that it will - TAB Sportsbet assesses the odds of a Saints-Dogs grand final at 20-1.

The Bulldogs haven't played in a grand final since 1961 and one always assumed that if they finally made one, they'd be playing some merciless interstate monster, and would get flogged. In grand finals, Cinderella seldom gets home.

But, for argument's sake, let's indulge the fantasy, suspend our disbelief and project that, in the greatest upset in preliminary final history - yes, Carlton fans, much more startling than the Blues pipping Essendon in 1999 - the Dogs somehow beat the Cats; then, 24 hours later, in a more plausible result, the Saints bowl over Hawthorn, with Nick Riewoldt kicking six goals.

We'd have the ridiculously romantic grand final that would have happened in 1997 if Tony Liberatore's post-high snap had been a goal, if a desperate Malcolm Blight hadn't thrown Andrew McLeod on to the ball and put Darren Jarman in the goalsquare in the second half.

Charlie Sutton, the coach of Footscray's solitary premiership in 1954, would be first port of call for the history-minded media. We'd be reminded of the fact that Barry Breen, the man who kicked the winning behind in 1966 for the Saints, received only 22.5 cents in the dollar for the money St Kilda owed him and several other club greats (Allan Jeans and Kevin "Cowboy" Neale, too).

But once we'd recovered from the sheer disbelief and become accustomed to the new reality, as we have to Geelong's premiership and sudden "benchmark" status, a decision would have to be made by the millions in the neutral corner: which of these biggest loveable losers to barrack for?

My suspicion is that the Doggies would get more neutral nods than the Saints, who would find themselves - narrowly - in the strange position of wearing black hats.

By many measures, St Kilda has been even less successful over the journey than the Dogs. The Saints have won 26 wooden spoons to the Bulldogs' four, and their VFL/AFL winning percentage is significant worse (38 percent to just under 45). And whereas the Bulldogs tended to be competitive even when they weren't much good, the Saints have been the less resilient club - their bad teams were truly awful (see the mid-80s, when they won four consecutive spoons).

Yet, the notion of St Kilda winning a premiership, while romantic and improbable, has always seemed less unthinkable than a Bulldogs' flag. St Kilda has played in four grand finals since the Dogs played in their last one, and the Saints were considered a team of destiny in 2004 and 2005, at the height of the charismatic, chaotic Rod Butterss-Grant Thomas era.

St Kilda also has a much larger supporter base, by dint of its geographic advantages, no matter what the membership figures say. In a good year, it can pull serious crowds. It has always had the capacity to make money, even if it has been poor, mad and the favoured club of impecunious bohemians and musicians.

The Doggies have never had St Kilda's tawdry glamour, or taste for self-destructive scandal. They've been tough, less extroverted and probably more workmanlike. They've probably been more honourable, but there's a sense that the club has lacked confidence and self-belief, and others have noted the irony that is greatest heroes, E.J. Whitten and Doug Hawkins, tended to be extroverts.

St Kilda or the Dogs? Either way, the story would eclipse Geelong last year and Collingwood's 1990 premiership. The bookies and history may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.