FORTY-FOUR days and 42 AFL games have passed since the night I wandered into the house after a few drinks with the girls, sat down in front of the television and watched Sam Newman staple-gun my photograph to a mannequin dressed in underwear.

The timing was literally that perfect. And paralysing. Being school holidays the whole family was watching and to this day I wish I had turned it off before the "fun", as co-host James Brayshaw called it, started. The silence in the room was broken only by my 15-year-old son's mobile telephone, which began beeping in a frenzy.

Several minutes later, after the TV was turned off, he suggested to my husband they head out and take on Sam. My 17-year-old daughter said she felt sick. I stabbed a couple of distraught text messages of my own to the Footy Classified producer I count as a friend who was at the Channel Nine studios that night.

The messages, both verbal and by text, began from Channel Nine almost immediately, continued all day Friday and most of the weekend. I still have no doubt, despite all that has happened since, that the two colleagues I initially felt so betrayed by in Garry Lyon and executive producer Tim Cleary were genuinely sorry about what had happened.

Despite the fact, the mental pathway leading from what I witnessed that Thursday night in early April to fronting up to meet Garry and Tim the following Monday morning was difficult and it was an emotional hour we spent in Tim's office sorting it all out.

I believe that Garry Lyon did not know about the mannequin until it came out, that his antenna, as he called it, was not up and that he ended the segment early. He was honest enough to admit that it was not early enough and equally honestly said he was not sure if he had his time again that he would have done it differently.

He took on board everything I had to say and, despite what he has said since in defending Sam Newman, I believe he still does. I don't expect him to take sides between me and his friend Sam, but I do wish he and his show had not responded so viciously to the women who later took on what Sam and The Footy Show team did that night.

I also wish the issue had died that night on Footy Classified. I told Garry what I had thought of the stunt - "humiliating and degrading" were two words that came to mind - and he apologised, clutching my arm so hard at the end of the televisual ordeal that I was certain a full stop had been etched into the story.

Believing I had stated my case briefly and clearly and not wanting to prolong the issue or be seen to whinge about it has prevented me from writing about it until now in The Age.

Clearly, though, the mannequin was just a catalyst for what came later, other far more influential players have moved in and out of the story and much misinformation has been allowed to be accepted as fact. This was by no means the first time I had been targeted by The Footy Show.

The first true attack took place in 1999 after I had written a column in The Age accusing the program of devaluing Richmond's Team of the Century function with their on-stage cameras and mistimed interviews.

Sam responded by calling me a "frothing, steaming crock of s---" and said he felt sorry for my children. There have been countless others. Many could have been defended in the name of robust debate, many were in response to negative things I had said or written about the program, some were personal and revoltingly sexist.

The difference this time was the Channel Nine relationship and the fact I had nothing to provoke it apart from an off-the-cuff comment to Sam that I had not been happy with the outfit I had chosen the previous Monday night - no fault I might add of the network's wardrobe depart ment for whom I still feel bad.

The other difference this time was that Sam, to this day, insists he meant me no harm. In an attempt to apologise a couple of days after the event, he told me it was an affectionate send-up demonstrating how completely he admired and accepted me as part of the culture. "If you use me as an excuse to f------ resign from this network," he said, "you are weak."

IN TRUTH, I never seriously considered resigning, which one former and trusted mentor believed I should have done. "You have damaged your brand," he said.

I'm not so sure. Not only because I like working for Footy Classified and believe it is a good show but we are a genuinely harmonious team who respect one another.

It is almost 10 years since The Age appointed me to this senior football position and 26 years since I covered my first football game.

The AFL still has serious issues to tackle in its relationship with women, but football's treatment of women in the media is not one of them and truly never really has been.

Unlike rugby league and American football - two clear codes that have a history of media misogyny they should feel embarrassed about - Australian rules has been more than welcoming of women journalists. Of course, there have been regrettable moments and Sam's doll - "How else do (I) lift a mannequin except for between the legs?" Newman later demanded on radio, except I'm sure I saw the prop man carry her out by lifting her under the arms - was a new low, compounded by the fact that this is 2008.

But why walk away from a good job because of him? I never wanted or expected an apology from Sam, because I knew he wasn't sorry. I accepted the apologies from those I trusted. And, to be totally pragmatic, plenty of people would have seen it as a sook's act.

Many media commentators on the more blokey radio stations couldn't understand what I was carrying on about. One, Liam Pickering on SEN radio, said I had every right to be offended but should not have said any thing.

Others, some of them Age colleagues, believed I must have approved the segment. Not my colleague Samantha Lane who wrote a strongly worded column about the incident and, as a consequence, was pilloried too on The Footy Show, which threw in her father Tim for good measure.

So much as been said and written about the skit that took place more than six weeks ago and, of course, once the group of senior AFL women wrote their letter of complaint to Nine Net work chief David Gyngell, the near-dead saga was resurrected in spectacular fashion and took on a life of its own.

The vast majority of the media had ignored the issue once they realised I was not going to resign but now The Footy Show was front-page news; the hysterical anti-women sentiments aired by Sam were slammed in State Parliament, Garry Lyon and his team were heckled when he paid tribute to Sam in his Logie acceptance speech and AFL chief executive Andrew Demetriou was moved to write a pointed editorial restating the game's position on women that was published in the AFL Record on the eve of Mothers' Day.

I don't always agree with Demetriou's style, but he has been misrepresented in this issue.

Five days ago the AFL boss was criticised by a senior columnist in another newspaper for his Footy Record editorial, saying it had been too little too late. And yet four days after the original mannequin skit, Demetriou had condemned it as "disgraceful" and "unacceptable" at an on-the-record AFL board room lunch to some 25 journalists, including the above- mentioned columnist, none of whom reported it.

I was not a party to the letter, signed by long-serving Essendon director Beverly Knight, Western Bulldogs director Susan Alberti, Sydney director Lynn Ralph, Melbourne director Sue Nattrass, Hawthorn director Janine Allis and Gabrielle Trainor, who sits on the AFL's NSW-ACT commission.

Neither was I aware of its contents, which included a suggestion that The Footy Show team undergo counselling to improve their attitude to women, in my view an impractical idea.

I was disappointed to see the letter leaked and I remember dis cussing it with Demetriou. His media antenna is clear and accurate and he knew what was coming on The Footy Show, which in my view was one of the more hysterical overreactions to criticism I have witnessed.

To watch those women pilloried and their reputations plundered in the manner that followed was almost as bad as seeing the mannequin again - and, of course, she has emerged several times since in various publications.

Of the women who wrote the letter, only Gabrielle Trainor is a friend. To call them liars and hypocrites and self- serving and to say women have contributed nothing to football was beyond, I believe, even what Demetriou could have predicted.

The women were called liars because they included Sally Capp, a Collingwood director, as a signatory when she had not approved it. As a group, they should not need defending, but a couple of quick points: Beverly Knight is a personal hero of mine. Her championing of Essendon's indigenous footballers, the haven she provided in the early days for a bewildered Michael Long, her work at community level and in the early days of the Bombers' mosquito fleet and refusal to bow to the dreadful treatment some male directors sent her way in the early days, the establish ment of that club's women's net work and the money it has raised do not begin to describe her achievements in 14 years at board level.

SUSAN Alberti was the woman referred to as a hypocrite for criticising the program after buying two tables in the audience and asking for a front- row position. No one mentioned that night that Alberti, in remission from cancer herself, bought the tables at a Peter McCallum fund-raiser when no one else was bidding and jokingly pushed for front-row seats because she was passing the tickets to one of her many charities. Susan Alberti contributes nothing to the Western Bulldogs? Try $200,000 a year. As she commented to one of her fellow directors: "They picked on the wrong person."

Now she is suing Channel Nine. The Footy Show can be funny and irreverent and it breaks stories on a regular basis. It is true that I do sneak a look from time to time. What person who loves football doesn't? It is a juggernaut that has thrived for 15 years. But having seen a tape of the attack on those women directors, I won't watch it again for a while, despite my admiration for the professionalism of most of those who work on the show - particularly when they are working on Footy Classified.

I do believe that some important ground has been broken as a result of the fallout from Sam's "affectionate" stunt and, while some close friends have dubbed me "the reluctant femin ist", that more is achieved from inside the circle than outside it.

As David Gyngell said several weeks ago: "Keep reminding them what you stand for and what is and what is not acceptable." And it is just a job after all.